


Such Sweet Sorrow

by Wonderjam



Category: 30歳まで童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい | 30-sai Made Doutei da to Mahou Tsukai ni Nareru Rashii (TV), 30歳まで童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい | Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?! (Manga)
Genre: 7 year gap, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Dark, Hanahaki Disease, I'm going to be safer on the tags, Kurosawa has hanahaki, M/M, Nobody Dies, but there is like acknowledgement of the disease being terminal, graphic depictions of hanahaki happening, slightly canon divergent, slightly dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:35:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28416978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wonderjam/pseuds/Wonderjam
Summary: Seven years. Seven years that Kurosawa has been living with Hanahaki before confessing his feelings to Adachi, seven years of enduring the pain of love before he hears it back: "I like you." But when Adachi breaks it off, the flowers come back with a vengeance that Kurosawa isn't sure he can survive.
Relationships: Adachi Kiyoshi/Kurosawa Yuichi
Comments: 20
Kudos: 120





	Such Sweet Sorrow

**Author's Note:**

> Why do I like writing hanahaki so much? Who knows. Every fandom needs a hanahaki fic. I had writers block halfway through, so I tried art instead, got artists block, thought maybe it was OOC because it was too angst, then decided to just write THE angstiest bits first and the block immediately disappeared. Oh well. My body is a machine and I run on terrible feelings. WARNINGS: this fic is pretty dark. It's got descriptions of blood and gore and body horror that come with hanahaki so please don't read if this affects you.

The man sitting a seat away from Kurosawa is fidgeting again. Kurosawa honestly doesn’t blame him. He’s nervous too, even if it doesn’t show on his handsome face. After all, he’s here for a job interview and he’s sure the other man is there for the same reason. He glances over out of curiosity. The man looks quite young, maybe the same age as himself, sporting an adorable bedhead and shifting uncomfortably around in a black suit, sweaty hands clutching a red folder and a black backpack squeezed between his knees. “Hello,” Kurosawa said, before he could stop himself. The man jumps, almost dropping his folder, and whips around to face Kurosawa. 

Kurosawa’s eyes widen. “I’m sorry,” he says, cautiously. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

The man still looks surprised and turns around for a moment to look behind him, checking if there was anyone there. He seems to take a moment to realize Kurosawa is speaking to him, before scrambling back to sit properly in his seat, ducking his head in embarrassment. “No need. I just… didn’t expect it.” He seems to turn decisively away, thinking it was the end of the conversation. Kurosawa hesitates, wondering whether or not to press on, but he’s bored and if there was a chance they were both going to be working here, he might as well make a friend early. “What’s your name?” The man quickly looks up again, surprised Kurosawa was still talking to him. “Eh?” he says, awkwardly. “Are you the interviewer?”

Kurosawa blinks. “No?”

“Ah, okay. You’re here for the interview as well, then,” Adachi says, seemingly relieved as Kurosawa nods at him. He ducks his head slightly and looks like he’s about to reply when the door at the end of the hallway opens, and a severe looking woman steps out, clipboard in hand. 

“Adachi Kiyoshi,” she calls out, and the man _(Adachi, Kurosawa notes)_ startles again. “Yes!” he calls back before bolting upright, scrambling to grab all his things at once. Adachi turns back to look at Kurosawa, unsure what to say, if he should say anything. “I’ll be going first, then,” he rushes out, and Kurosawa nods at him. “Do your best.”

Then Adachi is rushing off, bowing to the woman with the clipboard, and then he is gone. 

Kurosawa doesn’t know if they’re competing for the same position, if either of them will get it, but he feels drawn to Adachi and thinks it’s not the last time they’ll be seeing each other.

Kurosawa sighs, leans back and goes back to tapping his fingers on his knee. It feels like forever, but eventually the sound of the door opening brings him out of his thoughts. Adashi steps out, looking visibly relieved, and bows to the woman again. He catches Kurosawa looking at them, and looks like he wants to say something, but the woman looks down at her clipboard again.

“Kurosawa Yuichi.”

Adachi looks at the woman, then back at him, before the woman turns to him again and raises an eyebrow. Adachi blinks like a deer in the headlights before glancing back at Kurosawa, trying to nod encouragingly before he reluctantly backs away and disappears around the corner. 

_Cute,_ Kurosawa thinks, as he stands up to make his way to the interview room. 

\----

“Thank you very much, I’m looking forward to starting on Monday.” Kurosawa bows to the woman as he leaves and takes a moment to breathe when the door closes behind him. 

_A position in the sales department._ Not the position he had been looking for, and he couldn’t help but feel discouraged when he tried to emphasize his achievements and instead heard the panel very openly discuss the value of his good looks that could be used to secure clients instead. Nevertheless, fresh out of college and having just secured a job, Kurosawa was not going to question it no matter what it was. 

"Go to the reception on the ground floor," the woman had said. "The receptionist will provide you with the necessary forms. Please fill them in before you leave."

As he waited for the elevator, Kurosawa wondered if Adachi had gotten the job as well. He didn’t have to wait long to find out. Adachi was at the receptionist’s desk, hunched over a small stack of forms.

Kurosawa makes his way over to the reception and leans against the counter beside Adachi. Adachi politely shuffles his forms away to make room before looking up and seeing who it is. He nods shyly at Kurosawa. “Congratulations.” 

Kurosawa feels mildly amused, endeared by the Adachi’s cute mannerisms. “How did you know I got the job?” he teased. He felt bad for teasing him, but he just couldn’t help it. The man was so cute. Surely he would understand. 

Adachi flushed, stammering, and tried to backtrack. “Eh? Oh, I didn’t mean to… I mean, you just looked, ah…” Kurosawa is about to apologize for his teasing but now he wants to know. 

“I looked like what?” Adachi looks like he wants to die on the spot. “Your face, you know, you just looked really satisfied. I’m sorry for assuming!” _Well, that’s new._ Kurosawa was used to plenty of people looking at his face, but usually the things they said were based entirely on his physical appearance and no one bothered to take notice of how he was feeling. 

“I…” now he wasn't sure what to say, and did feel a little bad for teasing Adachi when he was being so genuine. “I see,” he said, and gave Adachi a genuine smile. “Adachi is very observant. Please forgive me for teasing you just now.” Adachi smiled weakly, but seemed encouraged all the same that Kurosawa was still talking to him. “I guess I’ll see you at work, then,” he said, and Kurosawa truly was taken aback at this. _How did he know they were even going to be working together? Being hired at the same time was one thing, but the building was huge, how could he possibly know…_

Adachi must have seen it on his face, because he grinned (Kurosawa was momentarily blinded) and cocked his head at the forms they were holding. “15th floor,” he said. Kurosawa blinked for a second and shook his head, shoulders slumping with relief as he huffs out a laugh. _Calm down!_ He scolded himself. “Of course. For a moment, I thought Adachi was a mind reader!”

\----

They’ve both been at the company for a few months now and have settled into an amicable relationship at work. Kurosawa smiles and thanks Adachi when he has some paperwork to give him. Adachi smiles and thanks Kurosawa when he mentions an extra detail from the last meeting. They both greet each other at the water cooler, and that is the extent of it. It’s a special kind of kinship that entering the company at the same time gives them, and in the beginning they are both especially glad for a friendly face at work. 

It begins on a day just like any other. Kurosawa attends meetings, heads out to see clients, and politely fends off the attentions of his fan club. Adachi completes some paperwork, tries not to fall asleep at the copier, and listens to Urabe complain about his weekend. Most people have already gone home when the higher ups walk in, immediately making a beeline for Kurosawa when they spot him. “Hey, Kurosawa, boss needs people to attend the dinner with President Matsuura tonight. Are you in?” 

Adachi is one of the few left in the office, working on a file that Urabe has unfortunately pawned off on him. He glances up to watch Kurosawa smile tightly, unable to refuse his superiors. Just as he’s about to turn back to his work, one of them catches his eye. “You should come too. We need more youthful faces there!” Adachi’s mouth drops open, and he looks frantically at Kurosawa, who just looks sympathetically back at him. “Ah… alright.”

Dinner goes extremely poorly. Kurosawa wants to cry, but he knows he doesn’t deserve to. All he feels is bone deep weariness, compounded by the haze of alcohol. It’s suddenly extremely suffocating and all he knows, stumbling outside, is that he wants to be anywhere but here. He trips over his own feet, and suddenly everything is in slow motion. _The ground’s getting awfully close,_ he thinks, _and it would be a shame to ruin his face when it’s the only thing he has going for him._ But suddenly, someone grabs him and shakes him back into reality. Time speeds up again, so fast that he feels nauseous, and finds himself staring blearily into Adachi’s worried face. 

“Kurosawa,” Adachi hesitantly hooks his arm around Kurosawa’s waist trying to hold him up, yet not wanting to overstep. “Come here, lay down for a while.”

“I’m fine.” Kurosawa tried for a laugh, but it died in his throat after one look at Adachi’s face. _Oh well,_ he thought, what’s another humiliation? _In front of Adachi too. But if I had to be like this in front of anyone, I’d rather it be Adachi than anyone else._ Kurosawa sprawled across the bench, eyes glassy. The sky was clear tonight, and if he looked hard enough, through all the night lights of billboards and office windows, maybe he could see the stars, maybe it was tears, blurring all the lights together. Suddenly, he felt himself be helped up slightly, and next thing he knew he was lying against something soft and warm and looking up into Adachi’s face. 

“Rest for a bit,” Adachi said.

Kurosawa was too exhausted to reply, and even if he tried to he knew that tears would come spilling out instead of words. So he closed his eyes and let himself lie in Adachi’s lap as the nighttime breeze gently rustled the trees around them. T _hey’d never been this close,_ Kurosawa thinks, _even as acquaintances, they’d never gone for a meal, a drink, even had lunch together in the cafeteria. Why weren’t they friends yet?_ For once, Kurosawa wished that the appeal of his face would work on Adachi, so that he would stay close by even if there was nothing of value inside. “I’ve ruined it,” he muttered heavily. 

“It’s refreshing to see you like this, Kurosawa.”

Kurosawa is too bewildered to be upset. _Is he taking pleasure in my misery?_ Kurosawa immediately feels guilty for thinking that. Adachi is here, helping him, surely he wouldn’t go through all the trouble if just to laugh. “What?” he questions, and it comes out harsher than he means it. However, Adachi is not cowed and ploughs on. “You’re always so perfect,” he says, lightly. “it’s nice to know you’re human, too.” There’s a smile and something else, something secretive in his voice that Kurosawa can feel even though he’s not looking at Adachi. 

Despite the seemingly harsh words, for the first time in his life Kurosawa feels seen and accepted. Even if what’s under his perfect exterior is this emotional mess… he hasn’t been rejected. That night, Kurosawa covers his face and cries as Adachi traces gentle patterns over his heart. 

\----

The next day, Adachi had come to work as usual, and not looked at Kurosawa any differently at all. His pride was relieved, but on the inside Kurosawa wished that things had maybe changed between them. Before long, he starts to take notice of Adachi more and more. How underappreciated he was. And yet, Kurosawa still had no excuse to talk to him. If anything, Kurosawa was the one feeling like he was distancing himself from Adachi even though nothing had changed. But it felt like the distance between them had somehow grown. Kurosawa felt himself wanting to close the distance more than ever.

_Snap out of it!_ He scolded himself. But by then, he’d already realized he’d long been in denial.

It starts as a little tickle in his throat. Kurosawa thinks he’s coming down with something, and chugs an energy drink before work. He has to leave first thing in the morning for a sales meeting, so he doesn’t see Adachi until after lunch. It’s an extremely busy day and Kurosawa is so absorbed in his work, he almost doesn’t notice until someone awkwardly clears their throat beside him. “Ah!” he says, he’s so busy, being pulled in all directions and he hasn’t stopped all day, he’s so tired but still he’s spinning around and putting on an apologetic face. “Everything okay – ?” he trails off when he sees Adachi there, cute blush and all, holding out some papers to him. Kurosawa’s brain short circuits. “Adachi!” Thank god it’s you, Kurosawa wants to say, and Adachi smiles at him, casual and kind. He reaches out for the papers, but almost makes an audible sound of surprise when he feels Adachi’s hand slip him something underneath, out of sight and ghosting over his fingers. “You’ve been working hard,” is all he says. Kurosawa is too surprised to reply immediately, but by the time he remembers himself Adachi has already darted back to his desk. He looks down into his hand and there is a small square of candy on his palm. Kurosawa doesn’t like sweet things, but he feels really touched by the gesture. _He_ _cares._

He goes home that night not feeling any better. Oddly enough, the itch in his throat has not devolved into other normal symptoms of sickness and has just remained a constant fixture there. It feels almost scratchy and for some reason, Kurosawa feels on edge. 

The feeling only gets worse throughout the night no matter how much honey lemon he drinks, and as he’s washing the cups there’s a sudden sharp stab of pain in his throat. Kurosawa drops the cup as his hands fly to his neck, panting at the suddenness of it. Then all at once he’s choking, and he realizes in horror that something is pushing its way out of his throat and then he’s coughing, bent over the sink as his body shakes with the force of it. Something in his mouth, sickeningly fragrant and waxy. He spits it out. A pink petal flecked with a few droplets of blood. Kurosawa is speechless, heart sinking. 

He turns around, leaning against the counter before sinking down to the floor. He stares at his hands, and they are shaking.

_Adachi._

He could never have imagined. Never imagined that his feelings would run wild like this. _And now…_

Kurosawa exhales shakily, at a loss. A blessing, for having Adachi in his life, and a curse, to bear this pain for the rest of his life. 

\----

It becomes a regular occurrence. Bout after bout of the flowers. It was unavoidable, as Kurosawa saw Adachi every day. On a bad (good) week, maybe five times (he bumped into Adachi in the elevator, made Adachi laugh while they were both at the copier, found an excuse to have a whole conversation), and on a good (bad) week, maybe once or twice (stayed out all day for client meetings and finding Adachi already gone when he went back to the office, Urabe keeping Adachi busy so Kurosawa didn’t have a chance to talk to him).

It was never serious, only ever petals. Kurosawa knew about Hanahaki. His elder sister had it, when he was young, but he still remembered as the beep of the hospital monitors echoed in his mind.

Love was painful, and yet Adachi was worth it every time.

\----

One night on the seventh year, Kurosawa insisted Adachi stay at his place for the night. It was late and Adachi had no way home, and truth be told Kurosawa was secretly thrilled at this development. He squashed down the bubble of worry about what the flowers would do to him as he ushered Adachi into his flat and prayed he’d done a thorough enough job of removing the evidence last night. He managed to keep control of the tightness in his throat until he’d bid Adachi good night and closed his bedroom door. Then the coughing started, muffled painfully into his pillow so Adachi wouldn’t hear. Thankfully, Kurosawa managed to endure it relatively quickly, and Adachi didn’t mention anything the following morning. 

Kurosawa counted his blessings over a pan of sweet tamagoyaki.

A few nights later, Kurosawa was hunched over the sink again. However, this time, something felt different. There was something growing in his chest, and the choking feeling he was so accustomed to was building past its usual limit. Kurosawa was seized with a slight panic as his hand instinctively reached up to touch the base of his throat, and then he was coughing. Pain, sharper than usual, and he couldn’t stop his eyes from watering. Something was pushing its way out of his throat, and it felt bigger than a petal. Bitter on his tongue. Kurosawa let it fall out of his mouth and into the sink. He stared. An entire rosebud looked innocuously back up at him. 

_Where are we going?_

_Quick, darling, we’re going to the hospital._

_What’s happening to Aneki?_

_(Voices, in a cold white waiting room.)_

_We have no choice but to operate. If she’s coughing up entire flowers, she’s just entered the final stage and won’t have long if we don’t._

Kurosawa squeezes his eyes shut. _It’s too soon._

He quickly twists the tap on, flushing away most of the blood and maneuvers himself to the couch, leaving the mess in the sink. _I’m running out of time. Is this… is this really it?_

His thoughts turn to Adachi. This new turn of events must have forced his body into the final stage. 

_And yet…_

_Adachi and I have gotten closer recently,_ he mused. _Is it possible that I have a chance…? No._

Kurosawa berates himself for even thinking he might confess and banishes the thought from his mind. 

It’s in the middle of the night when he gets up to get a glass of water and is once again met with the sight of the rosebud. This time, he finds he cannot rid himself of the thought of confessing to Adachi. Kurosawa gives in to the indulgence of imagining Adachi accepting his feelings within the safety of his room. _Adachi has a shy personality but I would make him feel safe,_ _he would accept my feelings and we would live a sweet life together, I would cook meals for him and we would fall asleep every night in each other’s arms. What if? What if what if what if?_

Kurosawa can’t stop thinking that night before he eventually falls into a restless sleep. 

\----

Kurosawa decides to throw all caution to the wind. He’s dying anyway. “I like you.” It takes a few days, but the riskiest thing he’s ever done pays off, it pays off tenfold. He listens, dumbstruck, as Adachi says it back, “I like you,” and it’s like music to his ears. He feels lighter than he has in a long time. He feels ten years younger, free of pain for the first time since… he can’t even remember. It felt as if Adachi had swept in, killed the rot that had taken hold in his ribcage and planted something new, something sweet and full of promise there. Kurosawa has never been this happy. 

\----

He should have known not to take each painless breath for granted.

Adachi is gone. That’s all he can think of, the only thought running through his head as he crumples in on himself on the cold floor. That brief period of time where Adachi was his had given him a glimpse of what could have been, and it was even crueler to have it taken away after being given a taste rather than never experience it at all. _Oh, Adachi._ Kurosawa could not bear to see him unhappy. He would bear the consequences of letting him go… no matter what they were. Already he can feel it bubbling up in his throat, thorns and vines taking hold again as quickly as they had gone. 

A cough rips its way out of his throat, a horrible, wet sound that leaves him gasping for air. He can taste the blood, the sickeningly sweet stench of flowers filling the air and the vile sensation of the blooms growing in his lungs. Another cough that wracks his body, and he grimaces against the razor sharp feeling of thorny stems straining to burst free. 

_He’ll get through it. In the end, he always comes out smiling. But this time?_

He is interrupted from his own thoughts with as the horrifying choking sensation builds, and builds, and builds, and he is grasping at his throat in a panic, clawing uselessly at something he can’t touch, destroying him from the inside. He gags and launches into a relentless coughing fit, but it is relentless and Kurosawa knows that it’s only the beginning. The blooms are pushing their way out of his throat, and he finally hacks the first one up. It tastes bitter and waxy on his tongue, tinged with the metallic taste of blood, and he picks it out of his mouth with trembling fingers.

Purple hyacinth, stained with flecks of red. Kurosawa turns the bloom over in his fingers, already exhausted. His shoulders slump and he takes a shallow breath, wincing as it scrapes over his ruined throat. He should prepare, he knows, get the first aid kit, water, before it really starts… but he truly doesn’t care anymore. _Prepared to die for love?_ Even his mind is mocking him. Kurosawa curls up on the floor, hyacinth clenched in his fist as the gasps in pain. _It’s never been this bad before,_ he thinks in a panic, pressing frantically at his chest. He thrashes on the floor, tears streaming down his face as he claws uselessly at his neck, if only he could rip it out, tear the pain away, but it’s unbearable, feeling the thorns scrape like knives twisting from inside out. He almost feels suspended in time as he struggles futilely against the twisting vines growing in his body. The flat had fallen silent, silent as the grave since Adachi had left, darkness pouring in from the window and wrapping its inky fingers around him. Suspended in limbo with only the endless twisting and scraping of stems and vines as Kurosawa writhes. This is but a moment of calm before the storm, he thinks, and he knows he looks absolutely destroyed now, sweat soaking through his waistcoat and hair falling into his eyes, and a sob escapes him. 

_It’s too late,_ Kurosawa thinks. _In the end, he always comes out smiling._ But this time, there’s a seed of doubt in the back of his mind. _Not this time,_ it whispers. _You are too far gone, and you have cheated the flowers for too long. Well,_ Kurosawa thinks through the haze of pain. He smiles through a mouthful of blood. _This is the only possible way I could go._

He is thrown back not a moment later by the force of the vines erupting from his mouth, coiling around each other in a chaotic dance as they burst free. It seems like it will never end. An endless tidal wave of stems and thorns and petals, and Kurosawa screams as it rips his throat open, unrelenting, and suffocating him in the cloyingly sick smell of flowers. For the first time in his life, Kurosawa is terrified, made to feel the full force of his emotions. He thinks of Adachi, longing with every fiber of his being to go back to what was. 

And then there is darkness. 

\----

Kurosawa surprises himself by waking up. His entire body is radiating pain, and he can barely move. Distantly, he can hear someone shuffling around in his flat, but he’s too exhausted to give a damn. He shifts a little and a sharp pain stabs through his chest. Kurosawa almost cries out, but instinctively remembers from experience to not make a sound or suffer his damaged throat any more than he needs to. A flurry of footsteps, and his elder sister’s face swims into view. 

“Yuichi!”

Her face is pale, eyes wide as she rushes to his side. He’s on the couch, he realizes, as his sister sobs over him. “When I found you,” she gasps, “oh, god, Yuichi, the blood. There was so much blood. And you…” she covers her mouth, stifling a sob. “I thought you were dead.”

Kurosawa doesn’t dare try to speak, so he summons enough energy to reach for her hand and she grabs it, crying. She doesn’t speak for a long time, and Kurosawa stares up at the ceiling, devastated by his failure. 

\----

Adachi feels terrible. He is weighed down with regret already, feet dragging as he moves in a zombie like trance back to his own flat. Kurosawa looked devastated, he remembers, and winces at the memory of looking into Kurosawa’s eyes as Adachi broke his heart. He regrets his decision, regrets it with all his heart. Magic? Now, it felt like nothing in the face of losing Kurosawa. If only he could take it back. He shuffles through his front door, throwing his backpack down. Toeing his shoes off, Adachi catches sight of something stuck to the bottom of his right shoe. Frowning, he flips it over, and a single petal flutters to the ground. 

\----

The next morning, Adachi gets to work early. It might be awkward, but he wanted to see Kurosawa, see that he was at least alive enough to come into work. The morning passes in a very tense way and the atmosphere in the office is brewing with something tense and terrible. Rokakku comes in before lunch, and he is alone. Even Rokkaku, ever so bright and cheerful, seems troubled, and Adachi feels the pit of dread in his stomach grow a little deeper. Fujisaki has been looking at him worriedly all day and Adachi has been avoiding her eye, but he needs to know. He stands from his desk with such force that a few people look up at him, but he doesn’t care about any of them now. Fujisaki watches him approach. 

“Kurosawa’s sister called in this morning. He’s taking a sick day.”

Adachi is even more worried now. “His sister called? Not him?” 

Fujisaki shakes her head thoughtfully. “I’ve never seen Kurosawa take a day off.”

Adachi can feel the growing panic. “Did his sister say anything else?” Fujisaki studies him carefully, looking more concerned now. “She said she’s with him,” she said, and then gently, “Adachi, did something happen?” 

Adachi just hangs his head. _Thank god he wasn’t alone, at least._

\----

Kurosawa still feels awful, but he’s already missed a day of work and his phone has been blowing up with frantic notifications, of colleagues unable to cope without him. He drags himself into work the following morning, dark circles standing out in his pale face and lips stained red with the blood he coughed up. He can feel Adachi’s eyes on him the second he walks in. Adachi looks devastated and guilty all at once and even though Kurosawa is resolutely not looking at him, he can feel Adachi’s emotions rolling off him in waves. Kurosawa feels a stab of guilt, but just looking at him would undoubtedly trigger a new fit of the flowers and he couldn’t possibly risk that again.

It gets so tense that Rokkaku, who has never in his life been able to read the room, can tell something is up with Adachi and Kurosawa. “I’m worried about him, too!” Rokkaku whispers to Adachi. 

Adachi glances sideways at him, confused. He has a bad feeling about this. “Yeah,” Rokkaku continues quietly, not noticing, “he’s been coughing really bad all morning.” He brightens. “But I managed to convince him to go home in the afternoon!” 

Dread struck Adachi, cold and crawling at the back of his spine. 

_Hanahaki._

_Seven years of unrequited love. And now… how did I not realize?_

Adachi shoots up from his desk, frantically sweeping his things into his backpack, and bolts out of the office. 

\----

The surgery had been scheduled. That night, Kurosawa’s sister, past begging and pleading, had simply told him that if he did not schedule the surgery to remove the flowers, she would do it for him because she refused to lose her brother. Kurosawa had said nothing, only closed his eyes and cried silently. He would have to accept it. Adachi clearly could not be with him, leaving Kurosawa with two options: move on or succumb to his feelings. 

_You have no idea how lucky you are,_ his sister had sobbed into his shoulder, _that fit should have taken you already. Don’t make me see you like that again! You scared me to death!_

The surgery was to be a day after the originally planned date with Adachi. It was the soonest date they could give him, given the severity of his condition. 

He stared up into the night sky from the top of Anton building, thoughts troubled. He wasn’t ready to let go of his affections for Adachi. He doubted he would ever be ready to let them go, and yet tomorrow they would be ripped from him forever. Kurosawa couldn’t imagine looking at Adachi and not feeling warmth blossom in his heart, feel his cheeks hurt as he laughed with Adachi, the fluttery thrill of feeling as if he was floating from sheer happiness. He would lay eyes on Adachi, knowing full well the extent of those seven long years of secret affection and admiration, knowing the pure joy he had the last few weeks of being able to call Adachi his boyfriend - and feel nothing. Kurosawa wasn’t ready to say goodbye. _Flowers be damned,_ he thought, gingerly touching a hand to his throat, the scarf that his sister had wound round his neck and insisted he keep on. He felt a stab of guilt thinking of her, but he couldn’t bear it. Tomorrow, he would call and cancel the surgery. Deciding this, he felt peaceful. _This is what I want,_ he thought, and turned his face up to the stars where he was unable to stop a sad smile from finding its way onto his face. Kurosawa let his tears fall and tightened his grip on the red box in his pocket. He had made peace with his decision. 

_In the end, I always come out smiling._

Suddenly, there was a huge clatter of noise, the gate at the entrance to the roof clanging open. Kurosawa hurriedly swiped at his face with the back of his hand, bewildered. _Nobody was meant to be here, so who…?_

“Kurosawa!”

Kurosawa froze. _Impossible._

He quickly peered over the box of wires that was obscuring him from view, unable to believe what he was hearing and hating the way his heart immediately soared with hope. 

There was Adachi, kneeling and gasping for breath, yet still desperately looking around for any sign of Kurosawa and ignoring his body’s protests.

_Did he run all the way here?_ Kurosawa thought, in shock. _Why…? What is he doing here?_

Kurosawa watched, unable to force his body to move as Adachi fumbled in his pocket for his phone. The light illuminated Adachi’s face, and Kurosawa saw the small bright icon of his own contact on the screen. 

“What am I doing?” Adachi whispered to himself.

“Adachi?”

Kurosawa heard his voice but didn’t register the fact that he’d spoken, or that his body was moving forward on its own, seeking Adachi, _always Adachi._

Adachi whipped around to look at him, and the spell broke. 

“Kurosawa,” he breathed after a moment. It sounded reverent and so full of regret, all poured into his name, and Kurosawa almost sobbed. 

But he had to force himself to be rational. 

“Adachi, the fireworks are cancelled,” he forced out, trying to go for a jovial tone. His voice sounded scratchy, and he winced a little. _Never mind, he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t face Adachi like this._

“I know,” Adachi rushed out.

Kurosawa hated himself for feeling so hopeful and shoved the feeling down.

“Were you really bothered by this promise?” _Yes, a laugh at the end, that’s right. Just like he always did, pretending it was fine, trying to be lighthearted. What is he even here for?_ “Adachi, I – “

“I can’t take it anymore!” Adachi shouted, and Kurosawa was so startled he forgot what he was about to say. 

“It was my decision to split up with you.”

His heart clenched, and he almost took a step back from the pain of it. _It was stupid of him to even hope that Adachi would be here to get back together, of course –_

“And I regret it to death!”

It was as if with those words, time had stopped. Kurosawa barely dared to breathe, as if the slightest movement would disrupt this beautiful dream all of a sudden and banish him back down to reality. 

Adachi didn’t seem to notice, head bowed as he continued.

“I know that I am willful and overbearing,” _No,_ Kurosawa wanted to tell him, _I am so proud of how much you’ve grown,_ but he keeps his mouth shut, wanting to hear what Adachi had to say. 

“but I really want to be with Kurosawa!” his voice breaks, expression completely heartbroken, and Kurosawa wants nothing more than to gather Adachi in his arms and soothe him until that expression was completely gone. “Even after the magic is gone, even when there are many misunderstandings… I will still try my best to understand you.” Kurosawa is still frozen, and Adachi is still going. “As it turns out, I really like – “ 

Something in Kurosawa breaks, and he surges forward to embrace Adachi. He didn’t realize how tense he’d been until he shudders out a breath. Adachi tenses in shock before sagging in relief against Kurosawa. 

_He’s here, he’s in my arms, he’s mine._ Kurosawa can’t contain the smile that spreads across his face as he pulls Adachi even closer. _They’re going to be alright. He’s going to be alright._ The only firework he needs tonight is the sparkle in Adachi’s eyes and the explosion of joy in his heart. 

Adachi is relieved, he’s so relieved and Kurosawa can see it in his face. He puts his hands on Kurosawa’s shoulders to look at him properly, frantic and worried. “The flowers,” he says, eyes desperate. “Kurosawa, I didn’t realize, you must have… Kurosawa, I’m so sorry.” 

Kurosawa doesn’t care. Any amount of pain in the world could be easily forgotten with the exhilaration he feels now. He smiles at Adachi, gaze warm and tender, corners of his eyes crinkling. He shakes his head. “Oh, Adachi, it’s over now. I’m alright.” And this time, as he smiles, he truly means it. 

After they have reconciled, after the fireworks, both of them are suddenly uncertain in the aftermath but are still unwilling to be apart from each other. They move down the stairs in single file and after reaching the bottom, Adachi immediately moves closer and shyly presses his shoulder to Kurosawa’s so they are walking side by side, arms touching. Kurosawa’s first instinct is to let Adachi lead, be a gentleman and not press him for anything more, but that thought goes out the window as quickly as it came. 

_To hell with being selfless for once,_ Kurosawa thought. _I’ve lost too much time already._ He takes Adachi’s hand in his, and the way Adachi looks up at him with such contentment warms him even more than the heat of their joined hands does. 

“Take me home with you,” Adachi says, suddenly. Kurosawa’s eyes widen. He opens his mouth to ask if he’s sure, but Adachi looks resolute, already expecting his response. “I’m serious, Kurosawa,” he says, quietly. “I want to be with you.” Kurosawa looks at him. Adachi is gazing at him, eyes bright and sure, his expression one of wonder as he looks at Kurosawa. _He’s beautiful,_ Kurosawa thinks, before shaking his head and huffing out a laugh, smiling softly. Slowly, he brings Adachi’s hand up to his mouth, never breaking eye contact as Adachi’s mouth parts in wondrous surprise, and gently presses his lips to it. “You need only wish it, and I am forever yours.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading \o/


End file.
